I understand Curling. That high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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