so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
