Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
