u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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