This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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