he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
