he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Mom said you looked used
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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