ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
