chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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