There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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