I wannas sexs uuuuu
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
