I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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