Where is the hickey?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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