idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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