dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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