I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize