Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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