I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize