discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize