I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
