You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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