her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
