why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
