Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
