so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
