There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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