Its about making memories worth repressing
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
