if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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