I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
