Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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