Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
