i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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