i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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