So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
