that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
