I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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