I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
