Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
