Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
