So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
