What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
