John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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