what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
