I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
