Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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