He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize