tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
