You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My room smells like vodka and shame
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
