i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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