She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
