Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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