Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
