Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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