I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
