I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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