i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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