her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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