i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
