You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
