Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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