just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
