There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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